A survivor or a “former member” of a manipulative group is usually a person who sympathizes with their peers. Of course, sectarian experiences depend on many factors. It is not possible to say that the former member “A” had the same experience as the former member “B”. Sometimes, the only experience in common is that they both left. But, for example, “A” was expelled from the group while “B” left for health reasons, or because his parents took him out. Anyway, not every former cult member is the samel and reacts in the same way.
“Followers have three basic alternatives to leaving the sect: they leave, they are expelled (often when they are” very burned “both physically and psychologically), or are advised to leave. While fortunate enough to be able to leave this destructive  group,adapting to life in the “real world” can be very difficult. If they do not receive proper information and advice after leaving the sect, the phobias induced by the group, which they hold in their subconscious, will turn them into itinerant “clock bombs.” In addition, many followers have lived so long without having done any kind of normal work or social life that the process of readjustment to adulthood becomes very difficult for them. There are people who, after leaving the sect, have rejoined it. Although, in my experience, these people are generally the exception that confirms the rule, they clearly demonstrate how vulnerable they are to those who have just left a mentally controlled environment “(Steve Hassan, ).
In many cases, former members, in turn, become instruments to help victims of mental control processes, for they know firsthand what is going on in the mind of a sectarian person.
Soon after leaving a  Catholic destructive group of manipulators, I also came across, and I still find some cases of former members who prefer not to talk about their experience and feel even a certain pleasure in correcting me and saying that their experience was nothing like mine.
They tell me, every time they hear me say or write, “I did not have such a negative experience,” and they say that “each one had a very personal and personal experience”, giving me to understand that the best I should do is to silence myself because, since my experience is not universally valid, it is no good to continue to care about it.
I always hear them, but they never convince me completely.
In the words of the classic book quoted above by the American psychiatrist Steve Hassan, many of these former members may be those he calls “fugitives,” who are still dominated by feelings of guilt and secretly keep their membership in the sectarian group .
I do not say that, as a former member, we must devote our whole lives to destroying the sect of which we have been members. No doubt it is much better to devote a life to a passion, to something that excites us, than to something that has destroyed us and caused damage.
The other day a man came to me, married, with a son, a job, and a whole organized life. He was a colleague of the sect times. However, it had been out for more than 15 years. I was struck by the sadness that carried within, in touching the subject of our past. It seemed that he was carrying a terrible weight, a burden he could never throw out. His choice, he told me, was to always shut up, not even seek to know the truths published about the group he was part of. And, by the way, the result was not what he expected.
Personally, I have always felt that the question is painful, but simple: either you decide to dive into your past, to accept it, and overcome it every day, or that your past, sooner or later, can catch you of surprise, with all the force, opening doors, breaking all their interior, and putting at risk even their own mental health.

Of coursBut, people are different.But if the person feels they need to talk, communicate, they can not be silenced.
There are and will always be those who deny the destructive effects of a process of manipulation and programming. Starting with relatives, friends, close people, and even some former members who would prefer us to simply turn the page, study for a contest, and work, just as they do …
But it is not rare that former members take years to deactivate destructive principles and ideas that have been implanted in their heads.
Recently, another close friend told me confidentially that it took him a decade to get rid of his experience of spending 1 month in the same sect I had for 15 years. That’s it. He only spent 1 month there and took 10 years to get rid of the consequences. What surprised me is that this same friend always told me to turn the page and apparently never listened to my personal complaints, saying that I should “turn the page” … I am no longer surprised when this type of friends, sooner or later late, they come to me to vent traumas that still frighten and disturb them.
The mind is capable of receiving new information and holding it back forever. This holds true for both bad things and good things. You may have thought that you left the sect when you walked out the door, but it may take years for you to locate and deactivate clock bombs that have popped into your mind.

Unfortunately, few therapists and educators are trained and trained to help former cult members. There are many who leave and, at bottom, continue to give credit to things learned within the destructive group and that even continue to participate in structures belonging to the group in question. It is as if, in your heart, you are still waiting for the day when the group’s politics will change, so that you can return to it. They are unable to understand that the group is structured and grounded on manipulative and destructive foundations.
Having left a destructive manipulator group is already a considerable and very important step. You’re physically free !!! Amen! Hallelujah brother! But, it may be that psychologically, it still takes some years …
The more you face your past, with peace, giving time to time, not pressing yourself to rebuild life from night to day, the more you will find the good things your sectarian experience has given you (in fact, there are never only things negative, no matter how bad the personal experience is), and the more you will discover those ideas, phobias, crashes that the sect managed to implant in your mind, to unleash one by one. Do not underestimate the human mind and do not underestimate the mind control techniques used on it.
My advice? Literally, become a devotee of Our Lady untied of knots. For few people this devotion makes more sense than to former members of such groups. And Our Lady, the true one (not the one you used to manipulate your mind), will guide you on a wonderful path to her Son, Way, Truth and Life.